Blog entry for:

and found them all defective - after all, that is why they are called defects.
so two days after writing my latest foray into my defects of character, this reading pops up to remind me to continue the process. and as matter fact i am right at that point in the writing process, the list. the interesting perhaps even ironic that arrogance was the defect that was sampled as a defect to be removed. arrogance is without a doubt part of the list that i will be writing tonight, i have no doubt about that. what may have a problem with is becoming entirely ready to have it removed. arrogance being on my list is no surprise, and it has been on the previous lists as well, so the question i need to ponder this morning is whether i have ever been entirely ready to have this removed. the piece of the writing i did last night spoke to exactly that question, am i really entirely willing, without reservations, to surrender my defects into the care of a loving HIGHER POWER.
yes i know that surrender is just one of the spiritual principles of this step, humility and willingness are first to come to mind, and i guess humility and willingness are necessary conditions for surrender. when i think back on it, in order to surrender to the fact that i was an addict, i had to learn how to be humble, and i had to be willing to seek a new manner of living. although the steps are built upon each other, i am coming to realize that step six and step three are more tied together than i ever thought. sure three, seven and eleven are a piece of cake to see how they are related, realizing that six belongs in that group is a new piece of my continuing understanding about what the process of recovery is about.
so what do i need to commit to today, well for one, writing the next section of my step work and make the call to my sponsor when i have completed my list. and perhaps i will discover the willingness to really become entirely ready to the best of my ability.

∞ DT ∞