μ no matter how long i have been clean, i have mixed motives behind almost everything i do. μ
Posted: Wed, Feb 27, 2008 10:51:41 AM
however, that is no reason to put my life on hold. i do not have to wait for my motives to become perfectly pure before i can start living my recovery. the excuse i was looking for, a means to act-out and drop the blame elsewhere, after all this reading plainly states that we will never be spiritual giants, so why worry, be happy, and do the best i can.
well, it also speaks to examining my motives, working with my sponsor to deal with what i find, and practice what i need to practice in recovery to get better. so the cop-out i am looking for, is not really there, dang it.
so what does the reading really start me thinking about today. well for one thing the changes being manifest in my life as i stay clean and work a program. i have been finding lately that my motives, while far from pure, are not as suspect as i believe. my HIGHER POWER has awakened in me a passion, that my active addiction had almost destroyed. that passion does not always come out in the most spiritual manner, and yes i have made many amends and if history is any indication i will have to make many more.
so anyho0w, i am feeling a bit under the weather today, and would love to call in sick, i do not have that option, so i will move forward through my day as best as i can and see if i can get some stuff done. after all, i can recover regardless of how physically ill i am.
well, it also speaks to examining my motives, working with my sponsor to deal with what i find, and practice what i need to practice in recovery to get better. so the cop-out i am looking for, is not really there, dang it.
so what does the reading really start me thinking about today. well for one thing the changes being manifest in my life as i stay clean and work a program. i have been finding lately that my motives, while far from pure, are not as suspect as i believe. my HIGHER POWER has awakened in me a passion, that my active addiction had almost destroyed. that passion does not always come out in the most spiritual manner, and yes i have made many amends and if history is any indication i will have to make many more.
so anyho0w, i am feeling a bit under the weather today, and would love to call in sick, i do not have that option, so i will move forward through my day as best as i can and see if i can get some stuff done. after all, i can recover regardless of how physically ill i am.
∞ DT ∞