ฮฑ i know without a doubt that my life has been filled with destruction. โฆ
Posted: Thu, Mar 20, 2008 11:28:53 AM
i can recognize addiction as a power that has worked devastation in my life. when i take the First Step, i admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than i am. it is a good thing that the steps do not end there, because making such an admission then accepting that i am powerless over that force would lead straight back to using, because there is no hope. so to find that hope i had to start a journey towards a spiritual goal, one that replaced the POWER of my addiction with one that was well different. is today the day that i need to rehash that journey? no i do not think so, i have shared about that at length so many times, it is perhaps time to look for a different tack and train of thought. the path i think i will wander down this morning is how necessary the replacement of the powers that i need to surrender to are. yes i now understand that addiction, in all its lovely manifestations is my constant companion, no it may not be screaming at me every single second of every single day, but it is there nevertheless. so how do i learn to counter such a destructive force in my life. the truth is i cannot, that i why i need a HIGHER POWER, regardless of what it may look like, feel like, and seem like. so for me, my first task way back when, and ongoing today, is find the POWER that is a creative force in my life to counter the destructive nature of my addiction. that journey has many twists and turns, but i never gave up, and in fact i surrendered to the fact that i do not need to know anything about such a POWER except to accept that i am going to be provided for in the short and long run. so the time has come to take care of myself, do some work on the road and get rolling. so yes there is a POWER greater than the force om the part of me i call the disease of addiction and that POWER will sustain me through this day.
∞ DT ∞