Blog entry for:

through the help of a spiritual Power greater than i am. the program, however, does not tell me anything about what i have to think about that POWER. okay, another HIGHER POWER topic and i could go into my general disclaimer, but you have heard that enough i am sure. so what about the process of finding and possibly defining a POWER to derive my recovery from? well that process can be long and tedious as was the case for me, and in the long run, i ended up with something that is quite similar to what i started out with. yes i went through various phases, and yes i had quite a definition constructed at one time, but as i progressed in recovery, i have been much better served by allowing the definitions and the limitations of my human mind to fall away. i no longer know the face of "GOD", and for me, that is a wonderful thing. it removes the mystery and the awe from my life and allows me to just let it be. as i grow up in recovery, i find that i am moving away from many of the occidental patterns of thinking and behaving that i grew up with, and among those notions is that anything that is vaguely defined must be a mystery, or mysterious anyhow, shrouded in the cloak of mysticism. well, mystic or not, i am finding great comfort in not knowing and as i know less and less as far as the whole HIGHER POWER gig goes, the easier it becomes to just be part of life and living. today i accept that in this respect i have very few answers, and from that acceptance comes the comfort of FAITH and TRUST.
but anyhow…
i am so sick of seeing the character defects of others and watching them act-out, it must really be time to get into that eighth step that has been languishing in my notebook. i guess what i am hearing from the spiritual realm is, that if i want to remain like those i am seeing all i have to do is keep doing what i am doing, which in regards to step work is not a whole lot. and truthfully, i do not remain sick any longer. especially when the path to better spiritual health is right before my eyes. so perhaps in thios busy day, i will make the time to to a bit of work in this realm and see what happens.

∞ DT ∞