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what i can with gratitude! i can honestly say that i have never given all that i could with any amount of gratitude. or better put, until after my last FIFTH Step, where i exploded the “TRUTH,” as i thought i knew it. i gave as much as i could, because it made me think i looked better in the eyes of my peers, and now that i have a diminished need to be what i am not, i can say that i do what i can in a spirit of gratitude. this morning, as i trudge back to work, i am getting a sense that i missed of shit ton of stuff over the past week that i was off. trying to get up to speed with everything that happened is not that difficult, as there will be a meeting at 10 where i will be able to hear all that i need to hear.
today, as i got rolling with a “normal”l work week, there is a sense of gratitude that i am back at work and once again getting paid. it certainly takes a bit of weight off my shoulders and distracts me from thinking about what that malignant melanoma may be spreading through my body. in reality i know that i do not necessarily need to be distracted, but at least working will shift my focus onto something productive for a change, instead of spinning around the hamster wheel of what-ifs.
i think i have run out of stuff to write about, so i guess it is time to fire up a cigar, move to my front porch office and see what hits i can pound out today. life is not all that bad today and i have some clean-up to do that will take most of the morning. it is a good day to be present for my needs and to remember that no matter what, i can always give a little bit more to those who are depending upon me, just for today.

∞ DT ∞