Blog entry for:

it is more than ironic that what i thought when i came to the rooms was so wrong and it all had to do with self. the last thing i would care to admit was that i was self-centered. self-assured, self-satisfied, self-sufficient were the self principles i thought i had down. this was part of the lie that kept me using. i was and remain self-centered and selfish. my only hope is to surrender my 'self' to the loving care of GOD and i may be relieved of this whole obsession with self.
the steps have provided me with the means to find self-worth and self-esteem and the delicious part of this irony is that i find out who i am and that i am worthy, i become less self-centered and selfish. for me the road to self has to go through a HIGHER POWER and this program. i need the help of others and GOD to walk this path so self-sufficiency goes out the window, as well as self-righteousness. and today i understand that this paradox is what the program is all about, i do not need to know why this works only that it does and i have the user manual and the experience, strength and hope of others to guide me.
∞ DT ∞