Blog entry for:

of my self-righteousness is not a topic i consider very often, after all, i am always right :) all kidding aside, being right and letting everyone know how right i am, are two totally different behaviors. even worse is making judgements based on how i **think** everyone else should be behaving and feeling superior and pissed off when they do not rise to that level. this topic was not what i “felt” a couple of hours ago, after doing my STEP ELEVEN this morning, but after seeing how some people treat others in the Rec Center, the judge, jury and executioner are in full force and i need to step back a second and consider my own place in that atmosphere. when i am going around in the circles of that indoor track, i certainly get off balance when those with whom i am sharing that space with, fail to follow the simple rules and pay attention to what is going on around them. as i consider my reaction to their behaviors, i am certainly grateful that i did not let my less than stellar judgements of them, slip out and say or do something that i would have come to regret. i truly hate the “corrective” part of STEP TEN and that feeling often drives my response to the stimuli of life on its own terms.
my daily pattern of living has been severely altered over the past twelve months and even more so since the end of December. using the time that i used to commute to work out has been a blessing. checking up and helping my aging parents take care of themselves, feel like a curse. when i feel put-out by their needs, i have to come to a place where i see my choice to act in their best interest as acting in my own self-interest. i know i would deeply regret not helping out, if calamity struck, as it has. the pain i would feel from that regret, is something i do not think i could handle, so the easier, softer way, is to pay attention to them, in the here and now and alter my life to fit that in. it is a choice i make and for this addict, remembering that fact, does help me stay on a more even keel. work meetings are about to commence, so it is time to put this to bed and be present for my team members, my clients and my employer, after all it is my job that keeps me warm and dry on these frigid and snowy January mornings.

∞ DT ∞