ยฐ when i admit that my life has become unmanageable ยฐ
Posted: Tue, Oct 12, 2010 09:11:37 AM
i do not have to argue my point of view. as i sit here, after one weird work day this week, with what may be yet another one, i am struck by how unmanageable things can really be. i have a web site that is not loading and i have to wait while tech support does their best to get it up and running. i am part of a convention committee and that event is this weekend and i have still not heard back from the hotel as to my requests yesterday. worst of all it is raining this morning, and i am not nuts nor am i obsessed enough to go out and run in the rain. and you know what? doing my laundry, working on server issues and waiting to get my oil changed are just part and parcel of living in the here and now.
after a brief whine, i can cut some cheese to make the effect a bit more gloomier or i can move on.
moving on, i was and still can be one of those who has a great NEED or perhaps it is just a great DESIRE to always be correct. on good days, it is something i can ignore and see it for what it is, the part of me i call my addiction asserting itself once again. in those times, i have come to rely on a POWER that keeps me from acting out on those desires and allows me to find what i need to find to be comfortable with myself. on bad days? well, the only thing i can say, is that i am grateful i have the ability and desire to do a complete TENTH STEP, including the correction part.
today? well right now i feel no need to lash out, no need to be right, correct or whatever, and no need to aggressively assert myself. i do feel the need to jump in the shower and get out and about for errands. i am sure that this too shall pas, and i will feel a hundred different things by the time i lay my head on my pillow. what do i need to do? walk in FAITH that i have the means to become a better person than yesterday if i allow the POWER that keeps me clean to fill that void within. so out and about i go!
after a brief whine, i can cut some cheese to make the effect a bit more gloomier or i can move on.
moving on, i was and still can be one of those who has a great NEED or perhaps it is just a great DESIRE to always be correct. on good days, it is something i can ignore and see it for what it is, the part of me i call my addiction asserting itself once again. in those times, i have come to rely on a POWER that keeps me from acting out on those desires and allows me to find what i need to find to be comfortable with myself. on bad days? well, the only thing i can say, is that i am grateful i have the ability and desire to do a complete TENTH STEP, including the correction part.
today? well right now i feel no need to lash out, no need to be right, correct or whatever, and no need to aggressively assert myself. i do feel the need to jump in the shower and get out and about for errands. i am sure that this too shall pas, and i will feel a hundred different things by the time i lay my head on my pillow. what do i need to do? walk in FAITH that i have the means to become a better person than yesterday if i allow the POWER that keeps me clean to fill that void within. so out and about i go!
∞ DT ∞