Some memes

in action or how i learned to love the bomb called active recovery. as i spoke with a sponsee earlier this week, we spoke of the various **levels** of recovery that were part of our shared experience. i have already expressed my opinion about the relationship between active addiction ⇝ mere abstinence ⇝ and recovery. we spoke of what recovery may look like, using terms such as “getting by,” “surviving,” and “thriving.” for me, looking to make my recovery as practical as possible, i see it took me years and years to move through surviving in my recovery to actually thriving. these days, for me anyhow, getting by is not nearly enough.
i know, WTF does any of that have to do with putting practicality into action? i may not be able to speak for my peers, and i certainly will not attempt to do so now. in my mind, it was going through the motions of what in was taught was active recovery, that made active recovery the way of life for me. i was kind, even when i did not feel kind, i was gracious when i wanted to rip someone's heart out. i meditated even when it felt like a HUGE waste of time. i prayed even though i did not believe. i owned my wrongs even when i though t i was correct and i came to accept that i was not entitled to anything, save for the opportunity to choose another day of recovery. i am certainly not any sort of saint or model of a recovering addict, as i still experience a misstep or ninety-seven, each and every day, but all that “practice” at doing what did not come naturally to me, makes it come a whole lot easier than ever before.
astoundingly, asking to have my current obsessions removed has worked. i could say that POWER that fuels my recovery took what i was giving away, if i choose to look at the spiritual explanation. practically speaking, however, since i had the desire to be rid of them and consciously asked to be rid of them, my inner self, placed them into the vault. either way, something has changed and i have moved on, for the most part anyways. i have to admit, i still cringe a bit when using terms such as GOD and miracles, as i have yet to shed to yoke of my antipathy to organized religion. i do much better than ever and that i attribute to being more than i felt i was, as i allowed myself the freedom to grow. that growth has brought me to this point bin my life, where i might not have won 1.78 billion dollars, but i am rich in connections and the grace of an active program of recovery. i am not about to say that i am better than desiring money and material wealth, i have yet to grow that much, but i am happy to be accumulation all the spiritual wealth that i can, simply by putting the practical, spiritual principles into action, in my life, just for today.

∞ DT ∞