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and recognize spiritual values long lost to me. although none of that was i what i bargained for back when i decided that maybe this was the path i was going to take. i mean really, dudes, recognize spiritual principles? come on, there is nothing beyond what can be detected with our senses, and the instruments developed to extend those senses. that attitude, as comforting as it was, back in those dim days of end-stage active addiction and even into my early recovery, was nearly the weapon of mass self-destruction. from that attitude sprung my desire to whatever it took to be different, unique and not needing the help of any 12 step program. it kept me down, and i could even think back when more than once, the right combination allowed me to touch time and feel reality. as i straddled the various programs available in my neck of the woods and walked along as a hyphenated creature, i was torn between two diverging paths, and like the old Robert Frost poem, i took the one less traveled by and as a result i was assimilated into a world where i had no clue and actually knew that i was clueless for the first time in my so-called adult life.
i am writing this in between tasks this morning, so it may feel a bit scatted where was i going? well enough of how it was. what happened was that after 13 months resisting and clinging to my vision of returning back to the life, as it were, i was exposed to a huge number of recovering addicts at convention. they opened my eyes to the fact that everything i was doing, in regards to my on-going recovery was killing me and that in the long run, i would end up being miserable as i waited for the clock to expires on my justice system entanglement. id i wanted any sort of happiness, then i would have to move on to a new way of looking at things, especially about what i thought about the world, reality and my place in that scheme of things. long story short! i am writing this here this morning, as the 13th anniversary of my conversion to a spiritual path approaches. i know who and what i am, and more importantly like Hamlet's Horatio, i am certain that there is far more in the world than i have ever allowed. today, i can touch time and feel reality, for fleeting moments BUT i am certain that if i follow the spiritual path i have been set upon, i will get more than i ever imagined to be true.
so back to work and to see if i can solve the problem i have been working on. it is a good day to be considering the spiritual side of what this world has to offer.

∞ DT ∞