Blog entry for:

by destroying all the lies that have made me who i am, is quite a leap from a year ago, when i was just starting to come to terms with the lie i had been living. dealing with my identity in these post jazz hand days seems to mean that i am uncertain of my values and what i really need to stand for, on any given issue and at any given moment. i know two things for certain, that i am an addict and that recovery has made my life better than i ever imagined, everything else, feels as if it is up for grabs.
moving into the here and now, my reality these days is far different than a year ago. learning to deal with loss and disappointment, while catering to the needs of someone who is more capable than they choose to admit, feels like a burden, when piled on top of a new job, a new vision for my physical self and because of a powerful FIFTH STEP a new glimpse into who i am and who i might become. when all is said and done, how do i move past settling for the unacceptable in my life, when i am certain, i could reach for more? that is my conundrum these days and that is more to chew on, as i attempt to get over the fatigue of climbing three peaks, in winter hiking conditions. maybe this morning i will have a better workout than yesterday and if not, at least i went out there and made an effort instead of saying i can't when i mean i won't. 😉

∞ DT ∞