Blog entry for:

well the reading this morning smacked me right up side my head and made me wake up and take notice. although it was about finding POWER over the disease of addiction within the group and the fellowship, it struck me at another level. for me, it was a reminder that the time has come to move on with my step work, and start my new process of coming to believe.
for me this time, the process of coming to believe is not necessarily about finding a HIGHER POWER, but more about learning and living in the FAITH that POWER can relive me of the current manifestation of my insanity and restore me to a state that i may have never actually been in. i now realize that the issues that i am dealing with now have been present for most of my life and cannot remember a time in my life when they did not exist. that does not mean that once i was sane, only that i cannot remember when that time was. so for me, the process of coming to believe involves a state of being that i do not ever remember having, and of course like the good addict i am, i have fear and doubt when dealing with the unknown.
so with more than a bit of trepidation, the time has come to step off the brink of self-will and let the group, the fellowship and my HIGHER POWER take care of restoring me to that long lost state of being.
∞ DT ∞