Blog entry for:

is a demonstration of the presence of a Higher Power, some attractive, caring force at work that helps addicts stay clean and grow. the power ib the group reading. ironically, it is just what i needed to hear, and although i could go on and on, blowing sunshine up your a$$, i will start off by saying that lately, i have found that power lacking. no not my HIGHER POWER, whatever that concept may be today, rather, that there was any sort of POWER working in the meetings that i have been attending lately, except perhaps animal lust and socialization. be that as it may, that is without a doubt my stuff, and stuff that needs to be resolved for me. who the fVck am i to judge why anyone else is at a meeting? who died and appointed me the arbiter of recovery?
well the honest truth is, that my meeting attendance has been slipping way down, and as a result i am looking for more ways to excuse myself from attending any meetings at all. after all, i see people who have at least as much clean time as i do and more, not coming to meetings at all and staying clean, if they can do it, i tell myself, why won’t that work for me? have to remember that i never know when and where i will need to have all the tools that recovery offers me, and for that reason alone, i still go to meetings even when i do not think i am getting anything out of them. there is a POWER that is part of the groups and the meetings, it is my job to recognize it and connect to it, not the other way around. anyhow, i am not in a bad spot this morning and i will see what i can get done over the course of this fine holiday, it is after all another good day to be in recovery.

∞ DT ∞