Blog entry for:

caring force at work that keeps me clean and allows me the opportunity to grow, certainly is the elevator pitch describing my understanding of a HIGHER POWER. i know that many of my peers are a whole lot more comfortable with a more traditional view and just as many tend to in the same direction as i do. it is not that i am averse to spiritual beliefs, it is just that i am very averse to religious ones, especially those that seem to be used to separate and berate others. it was that aversion that primarily kept me at the doorstep of active recovery, back in the day. it was my FEAR of being separated and berated that kept me from embracing my spiritual path, until i had fifteen years clean. my aversion to those who use religion as a weapon is still in force today and the news is filled with all sorts of those folks, who just do not seem to understand that freedom of religion, also means FREEDOM FROM RELIGION. that however, is not a soapbox i choose to stand on this morning.
yesterday, someone close to me decided to tell me that they did something that was not strictly legal. i am sure their intention was to “boast” of their independence and my reaction to their “news” shut them entirely down. when i consider what i did to get and stay high, back in the day, as well as the number of times i drove when i was under the influence, i fall into that old “kettle ⤑ black” bucket, as i violated not only the spirit but the literal language of the law. oh i could and certainly did justify and rationalize the living shit out of those actions, but the honest truth was that many of the activities i undertook could have killed someone, myself included. to stand on some moral high ground now, feels more than a little bit hypocritical. so i walked away, knowing full well that i was correct, my judgement was sound and i needed to say no more.
i know many of my peers believe that GOD or some HIGHER POWER preserved them and protected them from the fatal consequences of their behavior, until they could get clean. that was just one of the notions that kept me at the doorstep way back when and still bothers me today. suffice it to say, i have a very strong counterargument to that spiritual outlook, that i need not espouse today, as i need not attempt to point out the logical fallacies of that idea. it has been said that FAITH does not require anything, certainly not any sort of reasoned argument or even proof. my FAITH today, boils down to the idea that the POWER that fuels my recovery, provides all that i NEED to stay clean today, as well as the opportunity to get some of the stuff i DESIRE. it really is that simple, at least for me. no visual image, no aural voice, no human attributes, just a source of strength and hope, just for today.

∞ DT ∞