Blog entry for:

HIGHER POWER into my daily life, is a journey i am grateful to have made. i often wonder about my peers who come to recovery, with their notions of a POWER greater than themselves already baked in. as one who had to seemingly explore every twist and turn and keep coming back to the “tried and true” version of a HIGHER POWER, i see that HOW i got here, is far more important than where i ended up. i know that many of my peers, tried to assist me and it was my stubborn adherence to “looking like” everyone else, that kept me stuck on the Möbius strip of my spiritual journey. no matter how i want to slice and dice it, it felt like i was walking on the same surface even when i was upside-down. not that my journey through nowhere makes me any stronger or better than my peers who never had to make that journey, it certainly does give me a wealth of experience to share about how that journey may go.
this morning, after a brief nap and a frustrating night at work, where those who had changes to make, had not prepared to make them, i actually feel a bit energized. i suspect that the fade into caffeinated haze will commence in a little bit, but am not really concerned about that. no, my life these days is a flurry of excitement about getting out of town and frustration about not moving forward in securing a new position. more and more, as i pour more energy into this task, i seem to be forgetting that doing the footwork, is all the farther my power will take me. i want to start stretching the truth about who i am and what my skills are to see if i get my foot in the door, but i am also quite certain all that will do is lead me into an tenuous position when i have to “put up or shut-up!”
what i do know, right here and right now, is IF i want something new and different, than i have to keep applying myself to do something new and different. i will have my rough draft of my documentation completed before i go on vacation Friday Noon. i will have a massage and yet another recruiter interview this afternoon. i will have to work tomorrow night and i have the desire to keep my eyes, ears and mind open to opportunities to progress in my life, spiritually, emotionally, physically and professorially. i have until August 31st to find that new thang, so it just might be better for me to let go of the deadline i have rolling around in my head and see what comes my way. right here and right now, it is time to hit the dusty trail, as it were and get some steps under my belt. oh yeah, and be grateful that i have been given and extra sixty-two days of grace, knowing full well that i have a job that will pay me as i cruise the Greek Isles!

∞ DT ∞