Blog entry for:

about myself is generally not the first thing i think about when i start my day. lately it has not even been something i even considered as i struggle under the consequences of my self-will. this morning, the reading and my service over the past two nights has brought a bit of light into my bleak inner landscape. i GET to go to work and perhaps get to explore a new opportunity. i GET to be clean and live an active program of recovery. this morning, i GET to write this and although there are a few rainbows in here for a change, it is not about letting the rest of the world see me how i want to be seen, which lately has been a cynical and bitter curmudgeon.
part of this renewal is that yesterday due to circumstances beyond my control, i had to start a project to write a new weather widget for my web site. i have a few ideas to “enhance” it, which i will be implementing over the next few days. i forgot how it feels to be creative and all the effort i have been putting into my physical fitness has upset the balance a bit. after all, if i am getting 11,000 steps per day, i “owe” myself some game and TV time. before i forget:

Derek R,
Fifteen (15) years clean!
No matter how hard you try to deny it,
you are still one of us. Keep Coming Back.

back to where i was. over the next few days, that little widget that most everyone probably ignores in the bottom left hand of my web page, will change and become better suited to who i am. all i have done is added the numbers, the next part is truly making it a reflection of who i am and upgrade what it says and how it looks.
when i uncovered why the old version was not working yesterday, i was ticked off. the company that was providing the access to that information decided it would no longer do so and had cut off my supply. i knew this day was coming, as what was once a tiny little friendly company had been swallowed by media and technical giants, so what was once upon a time, a boost to get their name out there, is no longer required, after all now they have deep pockets and all the resources they need. i GET to do something more and perhaps his will be what drives me to polish up my skills and move forward with my education.
anyhow, i do have a job to get to and stuff to get done for my employer. it is time to move along and take what i feel about myself this morning out into the real world.

∞ DT ∞