Blog entry for:

and relationships! i have to admit, i was truly puzzled about how these two items were related. i know acceptance is the key for me, in just about everything that comprises minute-to-minute living, so why relationships should not be part of what i accept, is beyond me. i guess i have always thought that relationships, especially intimate ones, are something that i needed to work on, as in i HAVE TO apply my personal power to make them sanguine and serene. silly me, i have been wasting all sorts of my power on something that would be better put into the acceptance column. that does not mean i can stop my efforts to improve my relationships by working to be more open, listen better and pay attention to the needs and desires of others, it just means i need to accept whatever results come down the pike. among those relationships, are those i have with the men who may call me their sponsor.

Wayne,
Nineteen (XIX) years clean!
Congrats, my brother and sponsee.

part of my job, IMHO, as a sponsor is to say those things that no one else cares to say, especially since i am being asked to provide guidance through the TWELVE STEPS. i knew some of the questions i asked a sponsee a week ago, about his attitudes, thoughts and beliefs as he was going over his FIRST STEP, set off a few tremors in him. yesterday i discovered that what i asked, created more than a few tremors and the effects of him considering the question were off the Richter Scale, to the point of severely pissing him off. amazingly, once he started to let the initial wave of shock and awe wash through him, he took the time to decide not to fire me and find a few of the answers to the very rhetorical questions i posed. i may be on shaky ground in this relationship, i accept that as fact. i will not, however, pull my punches just to assuage his ego and prevent him from “firing” me as his sponsor. this is not his first time through the recovery gig and it may not be his last, although, like me, it just might be.
anyhow, it is time for me to wrap this up and get out and about into the so-called real world, for a bit of exercise to start my day. i know that relationships take a bit of effort on my part. i also know that living to please or appease someone does not make for healthy ones. accepting others for who they are and allowing my relationship wit them to grow organically and at its own pace is certainly a path i am able to walk, just for today.

∞ DT ∞