Blog entry for:

integrity runs directly through through my personal responsibility, two words that are bandied around freely by my peers in recovery are integrity and responsibility. most of those who freely use these terms, myself included, have HUGE caveats when it come to living up to these values. i would love to say that i practice integrity every day, every waking moment, but that would be quite stretch. as a matter of fact, i said i was going to work after mu=y home group yesterday afternoon and i ended up napping and reading a book. i really intended to give my employer a couple of hours yesterday and now i will plan to do so this afternoon as i watch the home team go down in flames. due to a celebrity visit to my smoke-filled room. i will be leaving the lounge early and will have more than a minute to give my employer back the hours i did not work as i cleaned the first round of leaves from my lawn on Friday. i can accept that and lately, i have been much better in working the hours i say i will and getting stuff done. it may be too little too late, but at least i am finally living up to the notion of integrity in my work place.
accepting personal responsibility for losing my last job has been tough. the one thing i did not do, was to step up to the plate and actually put those hours on the front-burner, instead of living in the pattern of the job i had before that, which was winding down my responsibilities, so i could use the days for what i needed or wanted to do. it sucks that it has taken two years to come to this place, but as i arrive here i see that it is not a bad place to be. i understand that IF i do not get renewed it will not be on them, but all on me and i will have to scramble to make the grade and get hired by another company.
anyhow, i am taking responsibility to do my PT exercises and figure out how to integrate the stationary bike into my daily routine. nothing is easy these days for me, but i have the desire and the ability to make it all work. today? well today it is time to post this, and get my ass in gear to enjoy a cigar and hang out for a few hours before coming home to work. all in all, not a heinous plan for the cold Sunday afternoon.

∞ DT ∞