โ thoughts of how bad it was - - or could be - - can consume my hopes for recovery. โ
Posted: Sun, Oct 29, 2006 11:33:09 AM
fantasies of how wonderful it was -- or could be -- can divert me from taking action in the real world.
well here i go, writing much later than normal, but it is after all the first day to the return of standard time and i have been working to catch-up with what i did not accomplish over the past work week. so it goes...
but enough of whining about what might have been , had i only applied myself a bit more .... the fact is that in the her and now i am working to complete some of the responsibilities that i have accepted. dwelling in the past or fantasizing about the future will not in any way get my projects done, so consequently are not worth the effort.
and that is the point of this morning’s reading, although it was more to doing what i need to do to live in the moment today with regards to my recovery. i have taken a much more specific tack and applied it to what is going on in my life -- which is working for clients way too much. the nice part of this new world is that i have more money than i have ever had and am doing what i love to do. so the work day is almost finished for now, and i will be off for a bit of relaxation with friends.
my past -- it was awful and it was wonderful -- there is no other way to describe it. would i trade what i have now for those " wonderful " moments? not for a million dollars the misery of using and having to use is something i choose not to have back in my life. can i stop fantasizing about the future? well for right now YES I CAN. so off to yard work before playing TTFN!
well here i go, writing much later than normal, but it is after all the first day to the return of standard time and i have been working to catch-up with what i did not accomplish over the past work week. so it goes...
but enough of whining about what might have been , had i only applied myself a bit more .... the fact is that in the her and now i am working to complete some of the responsibilities that i have accepted. dwelling in the past or fantasizing about the future will not in any way get my projects done, so consequently are not worth the effort.
and that is the point of this morning’s reading, although it was more to doing what i need to do to live in the moment today with regards to my recovery. i have taken a much more specific tack and applied it to what is going on in my life -- which is working for clients way too much. the nice part of this new world is that i have more money than i have ever had and am doing what i love to do. so the work day is almost finished for now, and i will be off for a bit of relaxation with friends.
my past -- it was awful and it was wonderful -- there is no other way to describe it. would i trade what i have now for those " wonderful " moments? not for a million dollars the misery of using and having to use is something i choose not to have back in my life. can i stop fantasizing about the future? well for right now YES I CAN. so off to yard work before playing TTFN!
∞ DT ∞