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and the spirit of unity. the source material once again, speaks of how important this is to the groups. i, however, because after all this is all about me, went down the path of how my recovery is interdependent of the unified message that i get from my peers in the rooms. i admit, it was the clarity of the message i heard, way back when, from whatever group i happened to show up at, that attracted me to the fellowship that has been my home. that message was straight forward and was not attached to any sort of religious rigamarole, even though i was sure it was. that message was not based on a litany of promises and language that was stilted, outdated and certainly more than a bit archaic, after all who uses words like “thee,” “thine,” and “thou,” in this day and age? it is true, that i missed the forest for all the trees, but i know i would have never lasted in that other fellowship, as i was certainly a very square peg attempting to fit into a round hole. when i heard a simple and unified message when i was struggling with my own stubbornness and denial, i knew that IF i chose to find a path in recovery, i would have to learn how to carry that message, so anyone “like” could find a path that fit them.
looking at the here and now, i know that i could not live a life in recovery without my peers, even those with whom i may disagree. the fact that all of us seem to be unified in carry a clear and concise message of recovery is the relevant fact. when i focus on “how” they do it, i lose the desire to be part of an interdependent network of recovering addicts and tend to start down the path of isolation and retreat. my life in recovery is dependent on the relationships i have fostered over the course of my recovery/ i cannot say that is true for my peers, but i suspect it is the case for them as well, as i do not feel i am unique in this regard. having been a person who always had to be “right,” it is far more comfortable to allow myself the freedom to listen and evaluate, rather that expound upon and bully.
after a rough afternoon yesterday, my leg feels better this morning and i am wondering if i really want to go ride the bicycle at the rec center. i know that i have a tendency to overdo stuff, especially when it comes to my physical fitness. i also know that not being an active participant in my physical fitness routine, will lead to my clothes being way too tight and tipping over 200 on the scale again. as the rest of the week is full of appointments and my daily routine will be more than a little bit altered by that, i know that some time in the gym is certainly the way for me to go, this morning. do it is time to post this and get on with my day, looking for the opportunity to be a bit better connected with the world around me.

∞ DT ∞