Blog entry for:

impossible to do for myself, takes courage and willingness to seek the ways and means. here is where i am supposed to say how i rely on the POWER that fuels my recovery, to provide for my needs. i am not one of those folks who prays for “manna from heaven.” i am, however, one of those folks who depends on getting answers from outside of myself. there is no flash of lightening, no roll of thunder, no disembodied booming voice or burning bushes. no for me, in those times when i require courage, willingness or direction, i pay attention to what is going on around me and allow myself to feel the solution, rather than trying to think my way through. i know that as i have written about this topic in the past, i was actually playing a “GOD” guy but that was all a part of living the lie of not being who i am. i have always struggled with any sort of notion that GOD is out there and all i have to do is ask for ITs help, in times of crisis. today, i may not be certain about a lot of things, but i know that my power to stay clean comes from a POWER greater than myself. that POWER also provides the answers that i need, if i pay attention to what it is i see, feel and hear around me, and not attempt to put any of it into the box that is my desires and willfulness.
i have made my flight plans to attend my Aunt Judy's funeral and still have to figure out where i am staying and how i will be getting around, once i touch down in Chicago. i have not been thinking about this, and allowed it to pop off the stack organically, but once it did, i knew what i had to do, it took a mere twelve hours for me to take action. i feel that is certainly the next correct thing for me to do, no matter what my siblings end up doing. i have the time off from work, i have the resources available and i have the desire to make it so. the easier and softer way, at least in this minute is to go with the flow and finish the rest of my plans, when i get back from my frozen dawn walkabout. it is a great day to remember that i NEED a source for strength, courage and yes willingness, just for today.

∞ DT ∞