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and my path forward, is most of the time a mystery to me. when i hear the word purpose, i often think of that Steve Martin movie The Jerk and go into a bit in my head about my **special purpose,** which is always good for a laugh. on a more serious not, however, ever since i tossed my identity based on a lie into the bit bucket., i have been on a journey where the only way forward is just for today. even though i am pretty sure that purpose includes staying clean and living an active program of daily recovery, the rest of what it may be about, is slowly being revealed and this addict is not very patient about not being able to at least get a clue or three about where i may be going. if i was one that prayed to get the opportunity to practice a spiritual principle, the last thing i would ask for is patience. 🤣
this morning, i decided that i would keep distance between my car and the car ahead of me, as i commuted to the office and not get all butt hurt when another driver decided that they “needed” to fill that space. it was a very lengthy drive in, i picked the correct stogie for the journey and i arrived calmer and more centered, although my cigar was very well-chewed. there was, however, no panic braking on my part this morning and my pulse rate never went above 100, so i guess, all things considered it was a successful drive and i arrived in one piece and my car is still intact.
part of my path forward will be revealed in a couple of hours, as i asked whether or not i would be renewed for another contract two weeks ago, and today, i may get the answer. needless to say, i am a bit anxious, but even if i am going to have to seek new employment, i am going to give my current employer all that i can give, until the end of the year, starting with a fix for the slow page i created and bring those pages into the new paradigm, which will take most of the morning. i finally asked a friend how he was doing, stepping out of my own shit for just a minute. life is interesting, in the here and now, but i am also sure part of my purpose in life is to be there for my friends, peers, spouse and family members, just for today.

∞ DT ∞