Some memes

process of recovery means i believe i may be moving in the right direction, even when i am not sure what that direction may be. i have written about not knowing what my purpose in life may or where i may be going, more than once. each time, i concluded that even without that knowledge at hand, i i could move forward by trusting in the process of rec0overy to lead me down the correct path. feeling my way, rather than thinking my way, through to the next stop on my journey is becoming part of my daily repertoire, even when i want to kick and scream in a petulant frenzy that this is not what i “wanted.” when i allow myself the freedom to do just that, feel rather than think, i find that the path i am on, is revealed and most of the obstacles to attaining something i need and may actually want have been removed. here is where many of my peers would speak to the will of a personal HIGHER POWER, and i applaud them for their beliefs. my spiritual path does not endorse such a concept so i have to go with the POWER that fuels my recovery providing me the opportunity to see my way forward. for me, a life without miracles and signs is more than okay and i have come to a pl;ace where i do not judge those amongst my peers who live in the miraculous.
this work gig has had me up and about earlier that i care to be, but for some odd reason it feels good to have to be a responsible member of society for a few hours a day for a couple days each week. i know selling cigars to the the masses is probably not my “true” purpose in life, but it does provide me a training ground to become more social and a better fit in society. i have been wondering why i could not find a job in my career path and i have come to a place, that maybe, just for today, that i am okay with not being employed forty hours a week, for a some big mega corp. i do not know where i may be going, but i feel okay with where i am today. as my path forward is revealed, i am certain that i will find the willingness to walk it.
with that being said, it is time to commit this little ditty to the bits and bytes of cyber space and get the dawg out for her morning constitutional. my life, such as it is, is far from heinous, at least i still have a mouth full of teeth, a way forward and a life that i am a full participant in, just for today. it is an excellent day to celebrate the opportunity to walk through this life clean and in active recovery.

∞ DT ∞