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for all that contributes to my ability to put one foot in front of the other? the truth, sadly enough, is hardly ever do i consciously feel grateful for the resilience that i have been given through the recovery process. more times than not, i simply slide through whatever “issues”l life has tossed at me, automagically. i forget that was not always the case and perhaps it is a symptom of “old-timers syndrome,” taking for granted, what i have today, as a result of the work i have put in, across the days i have been clean. if the past thirteen months are any indication of what life may toss in my path, i certainly do need to be grateful for being able to bend with the winds, rather than get blown away.
as i start to actually train for my 10K race at the end of May, i certainly do need to be grateful that i have the ability to do just that. a year ago, dealing with my injuries, the pile of stuff my Mom left behind, an unstable squatter in my Mom's house, i was truly a mess. add on to that melanoma and a genetic defect that has all sorts of medical professionals added to my life and one has the recipe for a recovery “vacation!” back in the day, any one of those factors would have been enough to give me the excuse to “check-out” for an extended period of time. this morning, the only decision i need to make, is not what and how much, but rather where i am going to do my workout: in the 'hood or at the gym. both have their pros and cons and it really comes down to a coin toss, as to which way that wind may blow.
over the course of my life in recovery, i have seen myself grow from a whimpering, whiny wisp of a person, into a full-grown human, who can feel without running, decide without spinning forever, be present for myself and those with whom i share my life and find a moment to allow myself to listen to something greater than myself. walking though another day clean, is not the chore it once was. that fact alone is more than enough to explain my lack of being consciously aware of how i got here and being grateful for that. no matter how much i may “forget” what my life used to look like, i really do need to consciously be grateful for what i have achieved and what i have been given, through the program of recovery that has me pounding this out, this morning. JUST FOR TODAY, I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY RECOVERY!

∞ DT ∞