๐ฉ i want to rid ๐จ
Posted: Sun, Apr 27, 2025 12:50:40 PM
myself of what is undesirable and set myself free to recover. most of what is undesirable are the resentments i choose to carry along my journey. although in the latest brand of my insanity, resentments play a very small part. two of them that nurtured my insanity and fed into the lie that this recovery gig was not working were
considering the step that is currently working me over, resentments are really not an apt topic. there is a benefit to being clean for as long as i have, and that is that i do not have to wait for the appropriate step to take action. even though i was not working any steps, except the daily trio of TEN, ELEVEN and TWELVE, i came to a place where i could no longer stomach another day with the bile and angst those two resentments were causing. it was not until i had to face my mortality and had the strong desire to use, that i finally resolved to let them go, through prayer and meditation. they still pop up every now and again, but i have the ability, to put them in their place, the bit bucket, rather that ruminating on how they affected me. there is enough living on my plate to keep me busy enough without dwelling in the what was.
anyhow, it is time to post this little ditty and after running seven miles, it is time to get out of the house to enjoy a cigar. i am far from perfect and yes, anger swallowed by me, quickly turns into the poison called a resentment. just for today, i will do my best to respond to my anger, rather than swallowing it, as i CHOOSE to take a healthier path.
- my Mom never making amends for what she did to me.
- my using addict niece who did her best to scrape all she could from my Mom's estate.
considering the step that is currently working me over, resentments are really not an apt topic. there is a benefit to being clean for as long as i have, and that is that i do not have to wait for the appropriate step to take action. even though i was not working any steps, except the daily trio of TEN, ELEVEN and TWELVE, i came to a place where i could no longer stomach another day with the bile and angst those two resentments were causing. it was not until i had to face my mortality and had the strong desire to use, that i finally resolved to let them go, through prayer and meditation. they still pop up every now and again, but i have the ability, to put them in their place, the bit bucket, rather that ruminating on how they affected me. there is enough living on my plate to keep me busy enough without dwelling in the what was.
anyhow, it is time to post this little ditty and after running seven miles, it is time to get out of the house to enjoy a cigar. i am far from perfect and yes, anger swallowed by me, quickly turns into the poison called a resentment. just for today, i will do my best to respond to my anger, rather than swallowing it, as i CHOOSE to take a healthier path.
∞ DT ∞