Some memes

from the rubble, fumes, and bloodshed of my self-destruction! well that just might be a bit of hyperbole, but it quite fitting for what i heard this morning as i sunk into the void. i m quite certain that if i had applied myself a little bit more, spending time honing my skills, rather than posting on X-Twitter, i could have kept the job i really hated. had i been a bit more diligent in the beginning stages of my job opportunity scam, i could have prevented sending any information to the scammers. has i been paying attention to my fitness tracker, i could have got credit for my hike yesterday. the litany of my “could and should haves” can go on and on and on. the truth is, no matter how much i regret what i have done, i am now where i am and as a result taking each day as it comes. what i can say, taking all of that into consideration, is that i am using the consequences of my actions, take creative action to better myself. i may not yet be a python maven, but i am certainly getting closer to being one.
so i have to ask myself, what, if anything have i done so far today to better myself. i did surrender to the fact i am powerless over addiction and ask for the power to stay clean today. i did sit and listen for twenty minutes and allow myself to shut down and tune into the what may be. i did walk nearly three miles at a brisk pace to exercise and some physical recovery under my sneakers. i am sitting here pounding out this little ditty and plan on moving on to job hunting and skill building once i get this posted. i can see that i am taking creative action, rather than destructive action this morning, as i rise further and further from the ashes of active addiction. all in all, not too shabby of a start to my day.
as i consider how to fill the hours that comprise this day, i can always remember to apply the test i was once given, by someone who at that times, seemed much wiser than i was. specifically: is the next action i am going to take, going to foster a solution or contribute to the problem. as i get to the end of this, i can say without any hesitation, it is all about solution, at least for the next few hours. after that? well, i will see what i feel like and how that may be affecting my desire to be in the solution. after all, today i have choices and it is well that i keep that in mind as i walk through the rest of this day.

∞ DT ∞