๐ช working STEP THREE ๐ช
Posted: Thu, Oct 2, 2025 10:06:27 AM
is a decision to open a door. i may not know what may be on the other side, but i have gained a measure of trust in that decision. as i sit here staring at the door, trying to suss out what may behind it, i am spinning around in my insanity. i have opened that door at least five or six times in the course of my recovery, and yet my familiar behavior is to stall and wait to get some sort of “sign,” which is as really fucking ironic as i am not one who believes in sign, burning bushes, or thunderbolts from the clear blue sky. i know that i am dwelling in a house of pain and misery, but in the relative scale of things, it is merely an irritation at this time and one i seem to be able to shrug off.
today, i went through my entire run without encountering any “assholes,” and felt respected as a pedestrian. in my home town, that is usually not the case, as i seem to take my life in my hands in every single crosswalk. perhaps it was my choice of routes that did the trick or maybe it was just a good day. i know that i need to accept that as what was, and move on to getting some stuff done.
as i run out of stuff to write about, i do need to bring in the concept of trust in the POWER that fuel my recovery, to provide me the opportunities to get all that i need. i have been sleeping in that regard over the past few weeks, as i was certain a had a gig in the bag. as that seems less than likely to kick in, any time soon, it is time to look in another direction. i know that i am cared for and that i have been struggling with self-will, in regards to finding some sort of employment. i guess it is time to go down the list and see what may actually get some money coming into my bank account, just for today.
today, i went through my entire run without encountering any “assholes,” and felt respected as a pedestrian. in my home town, that is usually not the case, as i seem to take my life in my hands in every single crosswalk. perhaps it was my choice of routes that did the trick or maybe it was just a good day. i know that i need to accept that as what was, and move on to getting some stuff done.
as i run out of stuff to write about, i do need to bring in the concept of trust in the POWER that fuel my recovery, to provide me the opportunities to get all that i need. i have been sleeping in that regard over the past few weeks, as i was certain a had a gig in the bag. as that seems less than likely to kick in, any time soon, it is time to look in another direction. i know that i am cared for and that i have been struggling with self-will, in regards to finding some sort of employment. i guess it is time to go down the list and see what may actually get some money coming into my bank account, just for today.
∞ DT ∞