๐ learning to care ๐
Posted: Sat, Nov 15, 2025 09:16:44 AM
enough to save the lives of my peers, as the cared enough for me to save mine. i was not a quick study to recovery, meeting etiquette or how to behave in groups of people. more than once, some of my peers had to take me aside and kindly or not so kindly explain that i was not only a mess, but i was messing up. in the early days, i would interrupt with a whole bunch of “buts” followed by a rash of excuses, rationalizations and justifications as to why i did what i did. it took a very long minute, before i “got” what they were trying to tell me and that they took me aside out of love, not to beat me to a figurative pulp.
as i “age” in the fellowship to be one of the OGs, i see it is my responsibility to take others aside and give the same sort of feedback i required back in the day. it is often the case, as it was for me, that being outrageous and rebellious addresses a desire to be seen and heard. ah, there i go generalizing, which i hate. better put, i empathize with those who need a bit of a correction or two, no matter the root cause of their less than stellar behavior. today, i no longer need to be the biggest and grandest in the room, even though i probably never was, except in my own head. i also need not be the the source of chaos, as i once was, as chaos is no longer part of how i desire to live. i can and will be a force of unity and concentrate my efforts on making those who are seeking recovery feel safe in out fellowship.
so it off to my home group and convention for me. i may not be the most spiritual recovering addict in any room, but at least, just for today, i know that i am an addict and i can s-choose to be a credit to myself and my fellowship or not. i still remember the burning anger i once felt at being “corrected” and that is a consequence that i can avoid, by taking those early lessons to heart.
as i “age” in the fellowship to be one of the OGs, i see it is my responsibility to take others aside and give the same sort of feedback i required back in the day. it is often the case, as it was for me, that being outrageous and rebellious addresses a desire to be seen and heard. ah, there i go generalizing, which i hate. better put, i empathize with those who need a bit of a correction or two, no matter the root cause of their less than stellar behavior. today, i no longer need to be the biggest and grandest in the room, even though i probably never was, except in my own head. i also need not be the the source of chaos, as i once was, as chaos is no longer part of how i desire to live. i can and will be a force of unity and concentrate my efforts on making those who are seeking recovery feel safe in out fellowship.
so it off to my home group and convention for me. i may not be the most spiritual recovering addict in any room, but at least, just for today, i know that i am an addict and i can s-choose to be a credit to myself and my fellowship or not. i still remember the burning anger i once felt at being “corrected” and that is a consequence that i can avoid, by taking those early lessons to heart.
∞ DT ∞