๐จ fear of the ๐ฑ
Posted: Thu, Jan 15, 2026 10:13:25 AM
ravages of addiction has sometime made me afraid to step out too far on a limb, lest i find ourselves in danger. trying out new perspectives, new beliefs, and new experiences can all be part of living spiritually. another day off the ranch and not because of any of the silly boundaries i put upon myself. is i simply a fact of life that twenty plus times through one set of daily meditations and two years through another, has left be yearning for something different. talk about stepping out on a limb! what i did not do, is to decide that maybe reading a tract of recovery writings, every morning was a habit i as going to drop. in fact, “going off the ranch” has opened my mind to a raft pf new possibilities, when it comes to framing my active recovery for the day. i am not sure what direction i am going to go in, but what i do know is that, is that a new approach to how my daily seeds are chosen is not a bad thing.
what i am not in abject fear about today, is relapse, as i feel confident in my ability to navigate the hazards of living today, allowing the POWER that fuels my recovery, to provide what i need to stay clean. i know many of my peers are still living under that cloud and i do feel sorry for them. i also suspect that many of my peers who share about living under that cloud, do so out of some sort of twisted sense false humility. when i was in that particular frame f mind, i believed that if i shared about my fear of relapse, i was actually being helpful and approachable. what i uncovered, after actually listening to my peers with lass clean time, was that when i carried the message of FEAR, i did not give them HOPE, that they could walk in the sunshine of recovery. speaking about my fears of life in general was one thing, believing that sharing about the FEAR that the program was not or could not work for me, unless i was strictly vigilant and wrapped my life in total and absolute recovery mode.
when i share about the program in general, i often start with the fact that i did not have FAITH in he program and lived in abject fear of relapse, way back when. what i follow that up with, is the fact that over time, i have seen evidence of how the recovery program works in my life and how that fear was replaced with FAITH. Faith in myself, in my peers, in my program and in the fellowship of recovery that i my home today.
what i am not in abject fear about today, is relapse, as i feel confident in my ability to navigate the hazards of living today, allowing the POWER that fuels my recovery, to provide what i need to stay clean. i know many of my peers are still living under that cloud and i do feel sorry for them. i also suspect that many of my peers who share about living under that cloud, do so out of some sort of twisted sense false humility. when i was in that particular frame f mind, i believed that if i shared about my fear of relapse, i was actually being helpful and approachable. what i uncovered, after actually listening to my peers with lass clean time, was that when i carried the message of FEAR, i did not give them HOPE, that they could walk in the sunshine of recovery. speaking about my fears of life in general was one thing, believing that sharing about the FEAR that the program was not or could not work for me, unless i was strictly vigilant and wrapped my life in total and absolute recovery mode.
when i share about the program in general, i often start with the fact that i did not have FAITH in he program and lived in abject fear of relapse, way back when. what i follow that up with, is the fact that over time, i have seen evidence of how the recovery program works in my life and how that fear was replaced with FAITH. Faith in myself, in my peers, in my program and in the fellowship of recovery that i my home today.
∞ DT ∞