๐ต it is more ๐คฉ
Posted: Sun, Apr 12, 2026 12:18:12 PM
than enough that i believe in something that helps me stay clean. the Cliff notes version of my search for a spiritual path is that it took the first fifteen years of my clean time to arrive on a path that has become the one that led me to where i am today. where exactly is that? deep in a very Eastern and very old spiritual tradition. within that framework i have come to believe that there is a POWER that fuels my recovery, whatever that happens to be. i am no longer hung up on what IT looks like, how IT works in my life or even if IT has any sort of intelligence. coming to that place relieve a major stumbling block form my recovery process and allowed me to start to clean up the grunge that i kept kicking down the path and sweeping under the carpet. today, as i prepare to go out on “date night” with my spouse, i am quite content with not having any clue about the nature of that POWER and how IT is manifests in my life, i just know it is there.
throughout my recovery the whole notion of GOD, HIGHER POWER or whatever, has been a troubling one for me, as i have written about in the past, ad nauseam. these days as i watch and listen to my peers, when i see one of them struggling across the same desert of doubt and uncertainty, i let them know that they are not the first to cross that bleak wilderness and that they might be better served letting go of any expectation of finding anything in particular. had someone offered me that sage advice, when i was crossing that void, i would have arrived on my path much sooner. well if wishes were horses…
when i get into that mode, however, i have to take a breath and relax as i realize that my journey has been exactly what it needs to be and because of my time in that trackless tundra, i now have the experience to help my peers through it as well. once i let go of having to find GOD, i found a spiritual path and a POWER that fuels my recovery and a way forward. had i come to my destination without the false turns, dead ends and missteps, would i have ended up with any sort of deep abiding FAITH? certainly an interesting question and as rhetorical as it may be, one that needs no answer. the simple fact of the matter is that for the past thirteen years i have walked a spiritual path that has allowed me to find the true nature of who i have been, who i am and who i am becoming. just for today, i KNOW that there is a POWER that fuels my recovery and for me, that is more than enough.
throughout my recovery the whole notion of GOD, HIGHER POWER or whatever, has been a troubling one for me, as i have written about in the past, ad nauseam. these days as i watch and listen to my peers, when i see one of them struggling across the same desert of doubt and uncertainty, i let them know that they are not the first to cross that bleak wilderness and that they might be better served letting go of any expectation of finding anything in particular. had someone offered me that sage advice, when i was crossing that void, i would have arrived on my path much sooner. well if wishes were horses…
when i get into that mode, however, i have to take a breath and relax as i realize that my journey has been exactly what it needs to be and because of my time in that trackless tundra, i now have the experience to help my peers through it as well. once i let go of having to find GOD, i found a spiritual path and a POWER that fuels my recovery and a way forward. had i come to my destination without the false turns, dead ends and missteps, would i have ended up with any sort of deep abiding FAITH? certainly an interesting question and as rhetorical as it may be, one that needs no answer. the simple fact of the matter is that for the past thirteen years i have walked a spiritual path that has allowed me to find the true nature of who i have been, who i am and who i am becoming. just for today, i KNOW that there is a POWER that fuels my recovery and for me, that is more than enough.
∞ DT ∞