๐ฅ it is my identification ๐ก
Posted: Tue, Jul 7, 2026 09:56:14 AM
as an addict through the common lens of the disease of addiction and my desire to get clean, that connects me to my peers. it is what one of the men is sponsor calls being a dime, as in we are all dimes on this journey. where that took me was to an old Firesign Theater album called We're All Bozos On This Bus, which might even be fitting. 😆 seriously though, connection was the one thing i did not feel when i was merely abstinent in those first eighteen months of my clean time. i did not identify because as i have said more than once in the past, i thought anyone who wanted to quit getting high, without outside pressure was weak and feeble. i certainly did not see myself as weak or feeble and i was certainly not about to quit getting high, i was just going to take a break until my legal difficulties sorted themselves out.
this morning, i feel a connection to the power that comes from the fellowship. my sponse gave me a call and congratulated me on helping one of the men i sponsor to come in from out of the cold, as it were. it really was not me, as i told him, it was my sponsee who did the work, i just suggested a direction that he might want to take. he did the work and i guess it showed.
yesterday the aftermath of my hat-trick of tooth extractions left me in a pretty miserable place as i finished up my shift at work. as a result, dammit, i have to go admit that i was wrong to take out my pain on a not so innocent bystander. the good part, is that i did not bring it home to my spouse, or to my customers who waited until the last minute to vacate the premises. Dick is a way to convenient target and a person for which i have little respect or fondness. nevertheless, i was wrong, dammit and i need to own that once again and be a bigger person than i was last night. as i walk through today, i have to remember that even if someone does not share my recovery or the fellowship in which i found that recovery, they are still connected to me, even if i cannot identify with them. the time has come for me to let go of my ill will for him and see if i can return to a place pf kindness, even if i do not feel like being kind to him, just for today.
this morning, i feel a connection to the power that comes from the fellowship. my sponse gave me a call and congratulated me on helping one of the men i sponsor to come in from out of the cold, as it were. it really was not me, as i told him, it was my sponsee who did the work, i just suggested a direction that he might want to take. he did the work and i guess it showed.
yesterday the aftermath of my hat-trick of tooth extractions left me in a pretty miserable place as i finished up my shift at work. as a result, dammit, i have to go admit that i was wrong to take out my pain on a not so innocent bystander. the good part, is that i did not bring it home to my spouse, or to my customers who waited until the last minute to vacate the premises. Dick is a way to convenient target and a person for which i have little respect or fondness. nevertheless, i was wrong, dammit and i need to own that once again and be a bigger person than i was last night. as i walk through today, i have to remember that even if someone does not share my recovery or the fellowship in which i found that recovery, they are still connected to me, even if i cannot identify with them. the time has come for me to let go of my ill will for him and see if i can return to a place pf kindness, even if i do not feel like being kind to him, just for today.
∞ DT ∞