δ back to the beginning δ
Posted: Wed, Jul 20, 2005 05:27:31 AM
sort of anyway. my world the past 10 days or so has been a giant lesson in powerlessness over and over again. even though i accepted the fact that i had no power over anything except my attitudes, behaviors and recovery program. well that is not entirely true, but damn does that not sound soooooooooo good?
the real truth is that there has been many things i have accepted my powerlessness over in recent past, some i had to exert some power over and then accept, and of course the most pernicious of all a few things that i still believe i have power over but giving up my beliefs about powerlessness was not what the reading said to me this morning.
what i feel this morning‘s reading was talking about is that the only fact i have to accept on any given day is that i am powerless over the disease of addiction. the caveat on that fact is that i do not have to face the disease by myself. ‘ WE ’ do recover, and that includes me too, if i choose to ask for support. alas, i am still sick enough to try and do it all by myself and there are times when i know i should be sharing my pain and confusion and i run, hide and isolate instead, because i am sure you guys do not have a clue about what is going on.
well today i am feeling gratitude for all of my friends and peers in recovery who have reached out to me over the past 10 days and given a piece of whatever they had -- ANOTHER DAY CLEAN!
∞ DT ∞
the real truth is that there has been many things i have accepted my powerlessness over in recent past, some i had to exert some power over and then accept, and of course the most pernicious of all a few things that i still believe i have power over but giving up my beliefs about powerlessness was not what the reading said to me this morning.
what i feel this morning‘s reading was talking about is that the only fact i have to accept on any given day is that i am powerless over the disease of addiction. the caveat on that fact is that i do not have to face the disease by myself. ‘ WE ’ do recover, and that includes me too, if i choose to ask for support. alas, i am still sick enough to try and do it all by myself and there are times when i know i should be sharing my pain and confusion and i run, hide and isolate instead, because i am sure you guys do not have a clue about what is going on.
well today i am feeling gratitude for all of my friends and peers in recovery who have reached out to me over the past 10 days and given a piece of whatever they had -- ANOTHER DAY CLEAN!
∞ DT ∞