Blog entry for:

of my life as a recovering addict has never been easy. even with the experience, strength and hope of my peers, there are still ginormous holes in my knowledge of how to do this gig. living a life that looks “normal” to those who did not see me all those days ago, feels like some sort of “pretzel logic.” when i think i got something, it seems to twist back upon itself and i end up in the same place, looking at it from a different angle. i am grateful, however, that i am not the only one who sees this world in a similar manner. whining and complaining about what my life looks like and what i want it to look like, is not what i heard this morning, but it did make a great way to get this ball rolling.
what i did hear this morning, was all about being powerless and coming to a place where i can accept that as part of my everyday life. yesterday i did not have my third interview yesterday, due to a child care crisis with one of the people i was supposed to talk to. i did hear from my boss, and they are extending my job until the end of the year, so i have a bit of time to find that perfect fit and get my skills up to snuff. my Mom, is settling for a life in her recliner and i have come to terms with that as well. my biggest concern and the one i have a little bit of power over, is not getting exposed to COVID, before my trip to Greece, which means social distancing, wearing a mask in public and staying close to home. it really ticks me off that so many of those who CHOOSE not to get vaccinated, also CHOOSE not to wear a mask and although i would never wish COVID on anyone, perhaps if they end up with a million dollar hospital bill, they will see the error of their recalcitrant ways.
oops, there i go again, railing against those who will not listen and over whom i have no power. i got a hike in this morning. i GET to be paid to train on new stuff while at my current job. i have friends and peers who treat me with respect and tell me when i have a booger hanging out of my nose. i have a paycheck coming in and i GET to climb another FOURTEENER, next week. with all that power backing me up and a POWER that fuels my recovery, having my back, i guess i can let the stuff i am powerless over go and see what happens, JUST FOR TODAY.

∞ DT ∞