โ we become members, part of a collective **we** that allows us, together, โ
Posted: Fri, Jul 20, 2007 08:51:01 AM
to recover from our addiction. with membership comes a wealth of experience: the experience of other addicts who have found a way to recover from their disease.
okay, i did not change from first person plural to first person singular as i usually do, that is by design, because the reading may be about step one but what really hit me this morning was the part of changing from an **i** to a **WE**.
anyhow enough of the explanations, this morning i am much better off emotionally than i was yesterday. worked long and hard yesterday, cleaned up some messes and even had the chance to listen to a member share her experience, strength and hope. and then i slept like a dead person, oblivious to the world around me. so today i have been running, by choice, since about six-thirty and took care of a bunch of stuff for the weekend.
so why am i hearing about the change to the collective, this morning? well, if i could answer that i would have to be king of the fellowship that i am a member of. of course, being the king would probably destroy everything, so today, i am happy to be a member, with all the privileges, benefits and responsibilities of being part of that **WE**. today i accept the true extent of the part of my i call my disease and am willing to do whatever it takes to keep that part of me in check. the crux of the problem is, that i have no clue about how to keep my addict part in remission and let my true self enjoy being a member. i NEED to ask for help, from a POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN, from my sponsor, from my closed mouth friends and from other members of the collective. that collective wisdom provides me the answers i NEED to have, and even some of those answers i WANT to have. that collective has the strength to give me the tools to move past self-will and into my own true will. and that collective provides me the information i NEED to get past the hopelessness of active addiction.
so yes, today i am part of a **WE** and grateful to be an member with the means at my disposal to not use anything no matter what. and now it is off to take care of the errands i need to take care of. thanks for letting me a part of this fellowship, even when i want to be apart from this fellowship, after all i do have the desire to stay clean today.
okay, i did not change from first person plural to first person singular as i usually do, that is by design, because the reading may be about step one but what really hit me this morning was the part of changing from an **i** to a **WE**.
anyhow enough of the explanations, this morning i am much better off emotionally than i was yesterday. worked long and hard yesterday, cleaned up some messes and even had the chance to listen to a member share her experience, strength and hope. and then i slept like a dead person, oblivious to the world around me. so today i have been running, by choice, since about six-thirty and took care of a bunch of stuff for the weekend.
so why am i hearing about the change to the collective, this morning? well, if i could answer that i would have to be king of the fellowship that i am a member of. of course, being the king would probably destroy everything, so today, i am happy to be a member, with all the privileges, benefits and responsibilities of being part of that **WE**. today i accept the true extent of the part of my i call my disease and am willing to do whatever it takes to keep that part of me in check. the crux of the problem is, that i have no clue about how to keep my addict part in remission and let my true self enjoy being a member. i NEED to ask for help, from a POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN, from my sponsor, from my closed mouth friends and from other members of the collective. that collective wisdom provides me the answers i NEED to have, and even some of those answers i WANT to have. that collective has the strength to give me the tools to move past self-will and into my own true will. and that collective provides me the information i NEED to get past the hopelessness of active addiction.
so yes, today i am part of a **WE** and grateful to be an member with the means at my disposal to not use anything no matter what. and now it is off to take care of the errands i need to take care of. thanks for letting me a part of this fellowship, even when i want to be apart from this fellowship, after all i do have the desire to stay clean today.
∞ DT ∞