Blog entry for:

yes i may me powerless over just about everything...
... however this process is not something i need to do alone, unless of course, i choose to!
:)
i still suffer from the mistaken belief that i can do life on my own, that somehow i have progressed to the point where i can be independent and self-sufficient.
what a crazy notion!
the truth is that i have become dependant on the addicts i share my life with to learn how to do this on a daily basis. i cannot afford the price of isolation and self-will, namely the return of the misery that i found the need to medicate away.
my disease tells me that i am not powerless over any particular substance or behavior. the fact that this is true makes it that more insidious, but the truth of the matter is that substance use and acting out are mere symptoms of my disease. i have evidence that through will power alone i can relieve any particular symptom, i cannot however address the underlying cause without the assistance of those in the program. i may "feel and look" better for now, but this is not about appearances, it is about making lasting change in the manner in which i live. i can and do recover from the disease of addiction and i have to do the work, but i cannot do this alone. and thank GOD i do not have to!
-- DT --