α with membership in the fellowship that gave me this new life, comes a wealth of experience Ω
Posted: Thu, Jul 20, 2006 06:18:50 AM
... the experience of other addicts who have found a way to recover from their disease. the irony of the past fourteen hours is not lost on me this morning. one of my sponsees finished writing his first step yesterday and was more than ready to share it with last night, and in fact that is what we did. so about eight hours ago, we walked away from the end of his first step, how he felt i have yet to find out. how i felt last night and this morning i can describe quite well however!
i remember how i felt after my last first step: lost, desperate and hopeless. and now that i think about it, that is the way i felt at the conclusion of each of the first steps i have worked in this fellowship. what that feeling did for me, was to create a situation where i was willing to quickly move on to step two. but of course that is not what i am feeling this morning, that is just a bit of emotional recall. no what i am feeling is a sense of gratitude because once again i remember who and what i am, an addict named don! and i also feel grateful for the feeling that i am not in this whole recovery gig by myself, i have men and women who are walking the same path as i am and can offer me the infinite wealth of their combined experience. although i never seem to get that feeling at the end of step one, it seems a bit of step work on step two is necessary for this addict to feel once again a member of a greater whole. today i feel a part of that whole and i am willing to help another part of this collective we become more than they were yesterday. after all, step one tells us resistance is futile you will be assimilated! :)) well maybe!?
i remember how i felt after my last first step: lost, desperate and hopeless. and now that i think about it, that is the way i felt at the conclusion of each of the first steps i have worked in this fellowship. what that feeling did for me, was to create a situation where i was willing to quickly move on to step two. but of course that is not what i am feeling this morning, that is just a bit of emotional recall. no what i am feeling is a sense of gratitude because once again i remember who and what i am, an addict named don! and i also feel grateful for the feeling that i am not in this whole recovery gig by myself, i have men and women who are walking the same path as i am and can offer me the infinite wealth of their combined experience. although i never seem to get that feeling at the end of step one, it seems a bit of step work on step two is necessary for this addict to feel once again a member of a greater whole. today i feel a part of that whole and i am willing to help another part of this collective we become more than they were yesterday. after all, step one tells us resistance is futile you will be assimilated! :)) well maybe!?
∞ DT ∞