โ living my commitment โ
Posted: Fri, Sep 23, 2005 05:58:31 AM
letting the trash talk about me, drive me from the rooms is hardly part of my agenda, today or any day. although within the last week i have contemplated going to meetings outside of my home town because of one addict‘s action. after he talked to me though i realized that he did and said what he felt he had to and the results were not really that unacceptable to me.
when i was young in recovery, the only addict who still is here and i decided to start meetings here, where i live. neither of us was willing to drive an additional twelve miles to go to meetings. this resulted in very small meetings where everyone, and i mean literally everyone, knew everything about me and everyone else. being young in recovery this led to more than a few instances of me initiating conversations where i would provide my unsolicited opinion about everyone‘s lives.
it is a good thing that GOD stepped-in and the program flourishes here today.
.... but as my friend jay hates to hear ... so it goes!
anyhow, today i understand the destructive power of telling tales about others in the room and choose not to engage in that behavior at all. that does not mean i am some spiritual giant who is not bothered by others telling my tale or judging me. not yet anyhow and probably not ever. BUT i do not need to retaliate, tit-for-tat and i can forgive the action and yes even forget. i know who my closed-mouth friends are and as my first sponsor once said what seems a lifetime ago, " if i am not comfortable seeing what i shared on the front page of the newspaper, save the juicy stuff for those you can trust. "
so i guess what i am trying to say is that it will take a whole lot more than some trash talk about me, to drive me from my commitment to my personal program of recovery and i will do my best today to not engage in gossip.
:) DT :)
when i was young in recovery, the only addict who still is here and i decided to start meetings here, where i live. neither of us was willing to drive an additional twelve miles to go to meetings. this resulted in very small meetings where everyone, and i mean literally everyone, knew everything about me and everyone else. being young in recovery this led to more than a few instances of me initiating conversations where i would provide my unsolicited opinion about everyone‘s lives.
it is a good thing that GOD stepped-in and the program flourishes here today.
.... but as my friend jay hates to hear ... so it goes!
anyhow, today i understand the destructive power of telling tales about others in the room and choose not to engage in that behavior at all. that does not mean i am some spiritual giant who is not bothered by others telling my tale or judging me. not yet anyhow and probably not ever. BUT i do not need to retaliate, tit-for-tat and i can forgive the action and yes even forget. i know who my closed-mouth friends are and as my first sponsor once said what seems a lifetime ago, " if i am not comfortable seeing what i shared on the front page of the newspaper, save the juicy stuff for those you can trust. "
so i guess what i am trying to say is that it will take a whole lot more than some trash talk about me, to drive me from my commitment to my personal program of recovery and i will do my best today to not engage in gossip.
:) DT :)