Blog entry for:

affect my commitment to recovery. so once again the worm has turned back to one of the gossip entries. i could say a whole lot about a bunch of other people and may not be wrong in doing so. today, however, i feel no need to run anyone down into the ground, even if they deserve it. nope, not me, not today.
what i heard when i could finally slow down and listen was that what others think and say about me, may be important to my social standing, but i cannot nor will allow it to force me from the rooms.
TAKE TWO
lost my train of thought as well as my work, so back to this task and letting the others go.
as i sit here at work, way behind on my AM stuff, i wonder when and if i will ever be over my need to look better than i actually am? i want to be talked about, but only in the most awesome sense. i do not want foibles exposed to the light of day. i do not want my not so awesome behaviors revealed to the general public. and any problems i have in my life, i want to keep under the cone of silence, after all, i do not want the fellowship commenting amongst themselves how fVcked i am. so i sit and suffer in the quiet darkness, waiting for some sort of sign that i am okay to share, a cosmic green light as it were. well guess what, that light is always on, i just choose to ignore it.
anyhow time to journey off for my second round of coffee, it be a good day to be clean!

∞ DT ∞