๐ฃ living in a ๐ซ
Posted: Mon, Sep 23, 2024 09:37:33 AM
glass house, as the old adage may go, means that one should not cast any stones. as the source material goes on to explain, my peers know way more about me, than even most of my family members. whether or not that is a good thing or not, is hardly relevant. what is relevant, however, is how i handle the knowledge i have accumulated from what my peers have shared with me.
when i was in active addiction, no9thing anyone shared with me was safe. i was good at keeping it under wraps as long as one was compliant with my wishes, but cross me in any way and <BOOM> your stuff became public knowledgeable, often with a bit of embellishment just to make it a bit more salacious. in early recovery, i was a tad better as i only used gossip to enhance my less than stellar self-esteem, and never as a weapon. over time, as i became more sure of who i was and found the ways and means to be more sure of myself, that behavior dwindled down to practically nil. these days, what one tells me, stays with me and when i am with a group that starts to gossip, i let them know i do not find that to be acceptable behavior and amble on off to my next destination.
there is a very fine line between gossip and being concerned for those with whom i share my recovery. asking if someone is okay, if i have not seen or heard from them in a minute, does not cross that line. asking if so or so has relapsed, may cross that barrier. asking for details that may not be general knowledge is without a doubt, stepping over that line and when i do so, i have to remember that i do not want others talking about me, so i need to practice a bit of empathy and stop before i get in too deep. when i used to care what other may have thought of me, this was the manner in which i could reclaim my moral high ground. today, i no longer need to look down my nose at anyone and that has removed a shitload of less than stellar behaviors from my bag of tricks. it has been a long and winding road to reach this spot and one that i do not regret any step i took, to arrive where i am today. just for today, i will let the world turn as it will and not try to impose my vision of morality upon it, after all, who knows, i just may be wrong. 😉
when i was in active addiction, no9thing anyone shared with me was safe. i was good at keeping it under wraps as long as one was compliant with my wishes, but cross me in any way and <BOOM> your stuff became public knowledgeable, often with a bit of embellishment just to make it a bit more salacious. in early recovery, i was a tad better as i only used gossip to enhance my less than stellar self-esteem, and never as a weapon. over time, as i became more sure of who i was and found the ways and means to be more sure of myself, that behavior dwindled down to practically nil. these days, what one tells me, stays with me and when i am with a group that starts to gossip, i let them know i do not find that to be acceptable behavior and amble on off to my next destination.
there is a very fine line between gossip and being concerned for those with whom i share my recovery. asking if someone is okay, if i have not seen or heard from them in a minute, does not cross that line. asking if so or so has relapsed, may cross that barrier. asking for details that may not be general knowledge is without a doubt, stepping over that line and when i do so, i have to remember that i do not want others talking about me, so i need to practice a bit of empathy and stop before i get in too deep. when i used to care what other may have thought of me, this was the manner in which i could reclaim my moral high ground. today, i no longer need to look down my nose at anyone and that has removed a shitload of less than stellar behaviors from my bag of tricks. it has been a long and winding road to reach this spot and one that i do not regret any step i took, to arrive where i am today. just for today, i will let the world turn as it will and not try to impose my vision of morality upon it, after all, who knows, i just may be wrong. 😉
∞ DT ∞