๐ค i certainly do ๐คฏ
Posted: Sat, Jun 7, 2025 09:04:12 AM
not always know what may be best, BUT, making space to consider the ideas of others, is never a bad task to undertake. it is true, that without a doubt, i look at the messenger and often ignore their message. in some of those instances, once upon a time i found what they shared to be engaging and informative, but after a while it seemed to fall into a rehash of the same old stuff. the catch here, is when they veer into new and possibly helpful territory, i have already tuned them out. there are others who i have had an “issues” or three with across the course of our shared recovery journey and as a result, the second they say “i am an addict and my name is…” i have already tuned them out and started to form my rebuttal to the bullshit i believe they are going to spew. the third and probably not the last case, is with those who choose a different political outlook and live in the ignorant cesspool of alternate facts, conspiracy theories and denial of science. those messengers are the ones i wish to slap the shit out of and bring them back to the real world.
those are the facts of my life and as i start to feel the THIRD STEP taking hold, i know that is my shit and not theirs. i also realize that in my intolerance and closed-minded actions, i am denying myself the opportunity to get something i may need. it is like shitting my pants, no one may realize i have and the only one who has to sit in that mess is me. that mental mind-fuck does nothing for them and certainly make me worse for wear and tear. what i am starting to practice is a bit of light meditation when my peers share their experience, strength and hope, letting go of the incessant internal conversation and allowing myself the freedom to listen to and actually hear what is being given to me. i am far from skilled at that, and each and every time i practice that little bit of walking a spiritual path, i get a bit better. after all, this is a program of getting better by increments, some large and some microscopic.
looking at what i am not, is not always the best way to go. i know i am willing to be open-minded and it is only me who is blocking that from happening. my opinions and what i see as the so-called “real world” colors all that i do. i can, however, just for today, let a little bit of that part of me go and perhaps allow myself to hear a message of HOPE from a messenger i would rather pound into dust.
those are the facts of my life and as i start to feel the THIRD STEP taking hold, i know that is my shit and not theirs. i also realize that in my intolerance and closed-minded actions, i am denying myself the opportunity to get something i may need. it is like shitting my pants, no one may realize i have and the only one who has to sit in that mess is me. that mental mind-fuck does nothing for them and certainly make me worse for wear and tear. what i am starting to practice is a bit of light meditation when my peers share their experience, strength and hope, letting go of the incessant internal conversation and allowing myself the freedom to listen to and actually hear what is being given to me. i am far from skilled at that, and each and every time i practice that little bit of walking a spiritual path, i get a bit better. after all, this is a program of getting better by increments, some large and some microscopic.
looking at what i am not, is not always the best way to go. i know i am willing to be open-minded and it is only me who is blocking that from happening. my opinions and what i see as the so-called “real world” colors all that i do. i can, however, just for today, let a little bit of that part of me go and perhaps allow myself to hear a message of HOPE from a messenger i would rather pound into dust.
∞ DT ∞