๐ช speaking to ๐ฉ
Posted: Sun, Jul 13, 2025 11:34:18 AM
and treating other members with love, care, and respect is effortless...
except when it is not. as a matter of fact, that is my stuff to deal with and usually a symptom of something else going on within me. it is quite true there are certainly a few of my peers who i cannot find the ways and means to have the desire to treat them well. some of them have shit upon me and never even apologized for their self-centered and self-absorbed actions. some of them play the eternal victim, when they are the root cause of all that is going wrong in their troubled life. continuing down my path of sorrows, enumerating their litany of sins gets me nowhere and certainly does little to speak to the solution. i may have my reasons, they may even be valid, BUT, as i have told more than one of the men, who call me their sponsor, if i want respect from others, i have to show them respect, even when i do not find anything within them to respect.
moving into the HOW of what i heard this morning, i keep stumbling over the fact that bit is not who they are that bugs the living shit out of me, it is how they behave. each and every one of those behaviors are parts of me that i find less than wonderful or even acceptable. once again, i am finding the ways and means to disparage myself, without appearing to do so. stealthily creeping through those “creeps” and their oh so creepy behaviors, allows me the freedom to pound another nail into my own coffin and pretend everything is just fine and dandy, when in fact i am seriously fucked! the solution, at least as i see it, is to forgive and stop expecting anything from them, as it is apparent to anyone with half a brain, there is no apology or amends in the works. most of all, i need to uncover the ways and means to stop victimizing myself and learn to be grateful i have the sort of life that allows me the freedom to be freed form the cultural and social constraints into which i was born. just because once was, does not mean that i now am. i can do the needful and respect and care for my peers, even when i think …
except when it is not. as a matter of fact, that is my stuff to deal with and usually a symptom of something else going on within me. it is quite true there are certainly a few of my peers who i cannot find the ways and means to have the desire to treat them well. some of them have shit upon me and never even apologized for their self-centered and self-absorbed actions. some of them play the eternal victim, when they are the root cause of all that is going wrong in their troubled life. continuing down my path of sorrows, enumerating their litany of sins gets me nowhere and certainly does little to speak to the solution. i may have my reasons, they may even be valid, BUT, as i have told more than one of the men, who call me their sponsor, if i want respect from others, i have to show them respect, even when i do not find anything within them to respect.
moving into the HOW of what i heard this morning, i keep stumbling over the fact that bit is not who they are that bugs the living shit out of me, it is how they behave. each and every one of those behaviors are parts of me that i find less than wonderful or even acceptable. once again, i am finding the ways and means to disparage myself, without appearing to do so. stealthily creeping through those “creeps” and their oh so creepy behaviors, allows me the freedom to pound another nail into my own coffin and pretend everything is just fine and dandy, when in fact i am seriously fucked! the solution, at least as i see it, is to forgive and stop expecting anything from them, as it is apparent to anyone with half a brain, there is no apology or amends in the works. most of all, i need to uncover the ways and means to stop victimizing myself and learn to be grateful i have the sort of life that allows me the freedom to be freed form the cultural and social constraints into which i was born. just because once was, does not mean that i now am. i can do the needful and respect and care for my peers, even when i think …
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