Some memes

of my creativity, my empathy, and my focus comes from developing a more honest relationship with myself. as i have been writing about a bit lately, my obsession with AI, i have come to see that with AI, i am expressing myself creatively, even if no one ever sees what i do. what came to me this morning as i sat in the void, was the little fantasies i create with AI are teaching me to be creative and perhaps giving me a focus moving forward.
i have always been a daydreamer and able to concoct all sorts of stories and plot lines. in the past, my imagination went to telling stories about others, to explain what i saw as their less than stellar behavior. crafting those stories soothed my guilty conscience about judging them in the first place. it may have been an out let for my creativity, but not a very healthy one. it plays directly into my double secret probation list of expectations, which allows me to beat myself up a little bit. it is becoming apparent to me, that creating stories and fantasies is part of who i am and IF i find that telling them about others no longer works, AI is a fair replacement for what once was my primary outlet to be creative.
what does all of that mean? well, for one, i will no longer feel ashamed that i play with AI for hours on end, as it is my way to bring my ideas to at least a virtual reality. it also means that as good as it may be for me, i also need to give myself a life in the real world and my task is balance AI fun with real world fun to be a healthier, saner and yes happier me, just for today.

∞ DT ∞