Some memes

myself reluctant to hear the thought of my peers, i will take a peek to see what is in the way, after which i will listen mind. one of the things i have heard since the very beginning is that no one ever told me to stop thinking or questioning. yes, an open mind is necessary, or at least is was for me, if i wanted to get what i saw my peers already had. that seemed to be in direct opposition to thinking for myself and questioning what i heard. over the course of the days i have been clean, i have developed some very strong opinions about what works for me and what does not. what i have also seen is what works for the majority of my peers, as well as, SIGH, what does not. the result of all that is today i have a very strong program of active recovery that i practice on a daily basis. i also am full of suggestions, advice and flat out “you need tos” that i choose to keep to myself. once upon a time, not all that long ago, i dispensed that “wisdom” with little regard, today i wait until i am asked to do so.
there certainly is a morning after my FIFTH STEP and this morning, i feel more free than yesterday. i shared my two driving fears with my sponsor as well as the rest of my inventory and he neither laughed nor offered advice as to the direction i need to take, save for my transition into STEP SIX. i may not like that he is applying the brakes with this step in particular, BUT, and yes it is a big one, he is my sponsor for a reason and i will open my mind tho the possibility that it is the best path forward for me.
it is off to work for me. i will find out whether or not Dick is still a part of my life and make sure i place on the calendar the days i need to be home to take care of the dog. i will also remember that my best ideas may come from a totally unexpected direction and be mindful that today, just for today, i can actually listen for them

∞ DT ∞