โฆ when i speak of the pride i take today โฆ
Posted: Fri, Sep 19, 2014 07:35:55 AM
in fulfilling commitments, my peers understand. others, as in the other 85%, not so much. they seem to believe that meeting my commitments, showing up for work every day, participating in relationships and not putting massive quantities of drugs in their bodies on a daily basis is part of every day normal life. so when i speak of those sort of triumphs to them, the look at me and say “REALLY!?”
i am certainly glad, and more than a bit grateful, that i have the fellowship that has been my shelter from the self-created storm, that was my life in active addiction. it is here i also find people, who like me, are not part of the so-called “normal” world and need others to show them how to fit in with the rest of the human race. it is here and only here, where i meet those who get how hard it is to be just another citizen. who understand that no matter how long one has been clean, the siren's song of just one, still echoes quietly through one's head. after all, it was here, with these freaks, that i learned that i DID NOT have to use every day. it was these people, who taught that the world does not stop to check with me anytime something needs to happen. it was the members of the fellowship who show me by their examples, how to get through each day, whole and better off for the experience, as well as what NOT to do. yes, the fellowship i was never going to be a part of, and the one that i loudly let know i thought was fVcked, is where i draw my daily spiritual sustenance from and the place i see what i need to see and say what i need to say, and best of all they GET ME!
i could go on, but the party line here is that i belong, and it is ONLY here that i belong. everywhere else? well everywhere else, i have to make accommodations to be a part of. i have alter what i say, how i do things and certainly temper how and what i express as my opinions. it is a good day to be a member and share the joy and suffering of my peers in recovery.
i am certainly glad, and more than a bit grateful, that i have the fellowship that has been my shelter from the self-created storm, that was my life in active addiction. it is here i also find people, who like me, are not part of the so-called “normal” world and need others to show them how to fit in with the rest of the human race. it is here and only here, where i meet those who get how hard it is to be just another citizen. who understand that no matter how long one has been clean, the siren's song of just one, still echoes quietly through one's head. after all, it was here, with these freaks, that i learned that i DID NOT have to use every day. it was these people, who taught that the world does not stop to check with me anytime something needs to happen. it was the members of the fellowship who show me by their examples, how to get through each day, whole and better off for the experience, as well as what NOT to do. yes, the fellowship i was never going to be a part of, and the one that i loudly let know i thought was fVcked, is where i draw my daily spiritual sustenance from and the place i see what i need to see and say what i need to say, and best of all they GET ME!
i could go on, but the party line here is that i belong, and it is ONLY here that i belong. everywhere else? well everywhere else, i have to make accommodations to be a part of. i have alter what i say, how i do things and certainly temper how and what i express as my opinions. it is a good day to be a member and share the joy and suffering of my peers in recovery.
∞ DT ∞