๐ no matter what ๐
Posted: Fri, Sep 19, 2025 10:34:37 AM
one believes about a Higher Power are, most of can agree that anything capable of keeping addicts all over the world clean, just for today, is a power greater than any individual. i used that as my seed even though what i am going to write about today is selflessness. oops, i just gave away the ending. 😉 seriously though, as i have written about here, there were plenty of times i thought i had to save the fellowship, save an addict, or save a group, by applying my self-will and influence, while sincerely believing i had the power to do any or all of that litany of sins. this morning as i sat without getting credit for it in my fitness tracker, i kept hearing the decision of the Serenity Prayer and how it applied to being selfless or self-centered. what came out of that, is that i cannot bend any group of addicts to my way of thinking by applying self-centered, self-will. i have to accept, that for now anyhow, my local meetings may not be exactly the way i want them to be and move on.
the other notion that popped off the stack, as it were was how can i be selfless and guide one of the men who call me their sponsor towards recovery. he certainly has the desire to stay clean and if i were to judge his willingness, i would have to say, that is what he lacks. to do so, however, crosses the line from my selfless service to him, to self-centered self-will, as i am looking to “rescue” from himself. the simple fact is, if i want to help, i think i need to get him thinking in a new and different direction. that possible new direction has been bubbling up to my conscious self the past few days and i keep saying; not yet. i am not sure why that is the answer, but i am going with the flow. perhaps, it is because i want to address him directly, rather than in a txt, so there is no confusion and he can ask any clarifying questions that pop up.
all in all, my life in recovery seems to be somewhere between self-centered self-will and total selflessness. i would prefer to allow myself to drift towards the latter, rather than living in the former. i know that my personal pendulum can swing wildly between those two extremes, but under the care and guidance of the POWER that fuels my recovery, i will find some balance in this matter, just for today.
the other notion that popped off the stack, as it were was how can i be selfless and guide one of the men who call me their sponsor towards recovery. he certainly has the desire to stay clean and if i were to judge his willingness, i would have to say, that is what he lacks. to do so, however, crosses the line from my selfless service to him, to self-centered self-will, as i am looking to “rescue” from himself. the simple fact is, if i want to help, i think i need to get him thinking in a new and different direction. that possible new direction has been bubbling up to my conscious self the past few days and i keep saying; not yet. i am not sure why that is the answer, but i am going with the flow. perhaps, it is because i want to address him directly, rather than in a txt, so there is no confusion and he can ask any clarifying questions that pop up.
all in all, my life in recovery seems to be somewhere between self-centered self-will and total selflessness. i would prefer to allow myself to drift towards the latter, rather than living in the former. i know that my personal pendulum can swing wildly between those two extremes, but under the care and guidance of the POWER that fuels my recovery, i will find some balance in this matter, just for today.
∞ DT ∞