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the reading this morning reminded me that all i can expect from the road i am walking is FREEDOM form active addiction and a BETTER WAY OF LIFE.
i forget that i have never been told that i will get anything else. is is my amazing magnifying mind that reads into the words "a better way of life" more than has ever been said. i want more than a new way of living, i want more money, more respect, more popularity, more justice and more joy but the only sure thing i get is a new way to live.
most of the time this is in itself is more than enough, however some days i feel conned.
is this all there is? when will i get mine?
the truth is that as long as i do what is suggested that i get mine every single day. i get to watch my friends and peers grow. i get to participate in life in the HERE AND NOW. i get to go to work every day and pay my bills. i get to feel emotions other than rage and depression. i get to be a part of the lives of those people who choose to share their lives with me. i get to learn who i am and how to tolerate and accept myself exactly as i am today. i get to love and be loved. but most of all i get to find a connection with the divine. i no longer have to be satisfied with just the mundane. when i flip over the coin and look at what i get instead of what i still lack, i am filled with abiding sense of gratitude and joy.
and just for today that IS MORE!
-- DT --