๐ณ the beginning ๐ณ
Posted: Mon, Jul 27, 2026 12:10:35 PM
of my process of surrendering, opening the door to recovery, only happened when i conceded to my innermost self that i was an addict. not some sort of addict, not an addictive personality, not addicted to this or that, not a drug addict and not a collection of addictions. all of those distinctions fell by the wayside when i finally made that admission and i see them as the ways and means to differentiate myself from my peers. when i finally started my recovery journey, being “different” was a notion i needed to discard, if i was going to actually find the ways and means to survive and thrive.
i have spent the morning fixing the fantasy football settings in our new platform and adding a new logo for my team. a bit obsessive and something i needed to get done. i may have some more work to do. i have a set of e-mails to send out and a reply to one of the managers who is invested in the old way. his concerns are valid and he spoke with his own experience rather than looking at the league as a whole. i hate implemented something by fiat and i actually have support in making the changes. i have to be kind and allow him the option of dropping out if he finds the new way too onerous. i believe, and i cold be wrong, that he will adapt and dominate the league, but time will tell.
what is going on with me today? well i am struggling with the yellow jacket bites on my hand that i managed to accumulate as i updated the HOA bulletin boards. this too shall pass and i will survive but man oh man, a swollen hand really sucks. when it comes to my recovery, however, i am in a good space. now life has thrown me a curve ball, my youngest brother just asked for a loan and i am hesitant to give it to him. it is not as if i do not have it available, it is just that i have trouble trusting him to repay the loan. i did not hesitate but now i am having second thoughts. it sucks that he came to me, but as my mantra of the day, lately anyhow, is to be kind, so i will go with that flow and see what happens. i will surrender to my better nature, rather than being a dick about it. life is like that some days, choose between doing the next right thing or surrendering to my fears. today, i will move forward into the light of the spirit.
i have spent the morning fixing the fantasy football settings in our new platform and adding a new logo for my team. a bit obsessive and something i needed to get done. i may have some more work to do. i have a set of e-mails to send out and a reply to one of the managers who is invested in the old way. his concerns are valid and he spoke with his own experience rather than looking at the league as a whole. i hate implemented something by fiat and i actually have support in making the changes. i have to be kind and allow him the option of dropping out if he finds the new way too onerous. i believe, and i cold be wrong, that he will adapt and dominate the league, but time will tell.
what is going on with me today? well i am struggling with the yellow jacket bites on my hand that i managed to accumulate as i updated the HOA bulletin boards. this too shall pass and i will survive but man oh man, a swollen hand really sucks. when it comes to my recovery, however, i am in a good space. now life has thrown me a curve ball, my youngest brother just asked for a loan and i am hesitant to give it to him. it is not as if i do not have it available, it is just that i have trouble trusting him to repay the loan. i did not hesitate but now i am having second thoughts. it sucks that he came to me, but as my mantra of the day, lately anyhow, is to be kind, so i will go with that flow and see what happens. i will surrender to my better nature, rather than being a dick about it. life is like that some days, choose between doing the next right thing or surrendering to my fears. today, i will move forward into the light of the spirit.
∞ DT ∞