Some memes

plenty of opportunities for me to learn how to do a better job of living in the world. one of the skills i lacked throughout my active addiction, in mere abstinence, and the first decade of my recovery, was the ability to listen to my peers and seek common ground, rather than sitting on my “high horse.” even after that minute or so clean, i still struggle with listening to what i am being told, especially if it does not fit into any of my preconceived notions. this round of steps seems to be zeroing in on what i believe i “know” and where my thinking is totally fucked.
today, as i listened to my breath and clear my mind, what came up was the fact that no matter how hard i try, expectations of how others should be behaving, still pop-up. no matter how many times i have revisited that dark corner, it seems that i am certainly, mostly powerless over that behavior and i am wondering if this is really a symptom of addiction, or an innate human attribute that i have stretched out of any sort of recognition. the signals i am sending myself, seem to be pointing towards getting off my figurative ass and doing something about getting my step work rolling again. the pain is finally reaching that threshold where doing is better than slacking.
it is time, however to get some skill-building under my finger tips and see if i can have a decent, stress free morning, pounding out the hits. it is a good day to listen and evaluate what is going on and even a better one to be what i am and not pretend to be something more or less, just for today

∞ DT ∞