๐คจ conceding that ๐คจ
Posted: Tue, Sep 15, 2026 10:05:23 AM
those who came before me were on to something, was not the first thought that popped into my head all those days ago. in fact, i was fairly certain they were full of shit, to be honest. Tuesday is a difficult day for me to sit and write this, as it is fantasy football make the right waiver move day. even though i have all day and night to obsess about it, research the living shit out of it and make my final moves, i still consumes most of my bandwidth. it is even worse now that i am retired, ARGHH! right here and right now? well i can let that go as i have already spent too much time fretting over how i am going to maintain my perfect season. 🤪
no matter how liberal or woke i appear in real life, when it comes to recovery and what has come down to me from my predecessors, i am staunchly conservative. i do not believe that because someone is beloved by the fellowship and relapse and die, they are entitled to an infinity coin. i do not believe the traditions are negotiable. i strongly believe the only way forward, for me anyhow, is a strict adherence to living a program of active recovery in my daily life. regardless of what i believe and what my opinions may or may not support, i also believe that group conscience is key. how a group chooses to run their meetings, whether or not i think they are adhering to the traditions, is not my bidness and is no longer worthy of my bandwidth. honoring my predecessors does not mean slamming my peers.
one of the things i seemed to learn on my own was that to honor my emotional state meant that i had to allow myself to feel the full range of human emotions, whether i “liked” them or not. for one reason or another, back when i had my moment of clarity that feelings were not something that i needed to judge, label and categorize, it was not a topic of many meetings. in fact most of what i heard in those days was the ways and means for “dealing with feelings.” that bothered me before i came to my realization and bothers me to this day. i have come to see that feelings simple “are,” and i reiterate that time and again to the men who call me their sponsor. i do not believe my predecessors were wrong in this regard, i believe i was just too obtuse to hear them quietly stating that as fact.
as i move into the rest of my day, i can let go of fantasy football, what i may or may not hear at the meeting tomorrow night and who will be my customers this evening. more importantly, i can enjoy the state of spiritual being that i find myself within, once again today and be okay, not fine, not good OKAY, as there are no biggies hammering me right now.
no matter how liberal or woke i appear in real life, when it comes to recovery and what has come down to me from my predecessors, i am staunchly conservative. i do not believe that because someone is beloved by the fellowship and relapse and die, they are entitled to an infinity coin. i do not believe the traditions are negotiable. i strongly believe the only way forward, for me anyhow, is a strict adherence to living a program of active recovery in my daily life. regardless of what i believe and what my opinions may or may not support, i also believe that group conscience is key. how a group chooses to run their meetings, whether or not i think they are adhering to the traditions, is not my bidness and is no longer worthy of my bandwidth. honoring my predecessors does not mean slamming my peers.
one of the things i seemed to learn on my own was that to honor my emotional state meant that i had to allow myself to feel the full range of human emotions, whether i “liked” them or not. for one reason or another, back when i had my moment of clarity that feelings were not something that i needed to judge, label and categorize, it was not a topic of many meetings. in fact most of what i heard in those days was the ways and means for “dealing with feelings.” that bothered me before i came to my realization and bothers me to this day. i have come to see that feelings simple “are,” and i reiterate that time and again to the men who call me their sponsor. i do not believe my predecessors were wrong in this regard, i believe i was just too obtuse to hear them quietly stating that as fact.
as i move into the rest of my day, i can let go of fantasy football, what i may or may not hear at the meeting tomorrow night and who will be my customers this evening. more importantly, i can enjoy the state of spiritual being that i find myself within, once again today and be okay, not fine, not good OKAY, as there are no biggies hammering me right now.
∞ DT ∞