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because this principle is so basic, i may tend to ignore it.
may??? truthfully i do ignore this this principle over and over and over again and again. i forget the damage that the lie of self-sufficiency did to me and my life over the course of my active addiction. i forget that although i did not believe in any concept of a HIGHER POWER, much less one that will take care of me, i still was preserved and protected until i was ready to start my recovery. i was not what you call cautious in my active addiction and yet here i sit today, smoking a fine cigar, and writing this blog on a cold and snowy day. so something has been taking care of me and i choose to believe that something is a POWER GREATER THAN ME, who has the ability to protect me from even my stupidest most dangerous tendencies.
so why oh why do i forget about letting that POWER do its thing??????? well i could to delve into deep and twisty philosophical arguments about self-support and footwork, or i could simply accept that i am just another human being, who believe rightly or wrongly, that if something needs to be taken care of, it is up to me to be up to that task! the reading this morning was particularly poignant to me, as i have been living once again in self-sufficiency. my HIGHER POWER had nothing to do with me getting one of my material desires fulfilled at five-thirty in the morning last friday. my HIGHER POWER had nothing to do with my being forgiven for some of the idiotic things i have said and done in the recent weeks. and of course my HIGHER POWER has had nothing to do with me staying clean yet another day.
and all of that is lies that i tell myself to support the infrastructure that i created over the course of my active addiction. as that infrastructure gets rebuilt by the spiritual principles of the program of recovery that i have chosen to follow, i resist, kicking and clawing, until it finally gets to be way to much effort to fight the process, and i once again surrender to the changes that need to be manifest in my life.
i am being cared for, and all i need to do is let my HIGHER POWER do its job. all i have to do is surrender to the process and i will get everything i NEED to survive and even thrive. and of course remember that i am becoming something beyond my wildest dreams.

∞ DT ∞